I’ve always loved the festive season. Cosying up to watch a favourite film, listening to Christmas songs while wrapping presents, and the smell of winter spices in the air. I relish seeing the excitement and anticipation of Santa’s visit on my children’s faces. When I’m feeling the festive spirit, I’m in my happy place!

But the build up to Christmas can also be a time when I go into juggling overdrive! Pushing myself to complete work projects before the holidays, cleaning the house before family arrive (only to have it converted back into chaos each weekend), buying the tree, present planning, food shopping, house decorating… all while trying to remember the dates for different Christmas jumper days, nativity plays and fairs!

Rather than being merry and bright, I can find myself feeling frosty with dark circles under my eyes.

I know I’m not alone in this feeling of festive overwhelm. Christmas creates joy and togetherness, but also added stress. With the increase in social events, shopping, cooking, travelling, and more at this time of year, our mental load can quickly ramp up. This invisible labour of remembering details, planning, making decisions, and juggling priorities is draining. Managing the heightened emotions and expectations of our little people over this period is exhausting too.

Here are five ideas I’ll be experimenting with this year to help me manage the mental load:

Embrace the Christmas chaos

Christmas often gets portrayed as a picture-perfect, which can be far from the truth! With accumulating expectations, the coming together of different family members and friends, and a build-up of emotions ahead of the big event, it can be helpful to accept ahead of time that tensions may be high, and things may not go smoothly. Let go of the pressure to make everything Instagram perfect and give yourself permission to just be present with friends and family amidst the mayhem.

Keep a festive focus on what matters most

Connecting with loved ones, showing gratitude, and sharing kindness are at the heart of the holiday season. Before diving into your Christmas to-do lists and the fast pace of the festive season, take a moment to pause and write down what these core values look like for you. Keep your focus on the core values that matter most, rather than going overboard on non-essentials. When you sense you may be getting caught up in the festive frenzy, revisit this list to help you manage the external noise.

Give yourself the gift of ‘me time’

When festive overload hots up, any Christmas composure can quickly start to melt away. When you feel like it’s all getting too much, take 5-10 minutes to close your eyes, breathe deeply, indulge in a mince pie, or go outside for some air. Reset your frame of mind before tackling the next thing. Carve out small pockets of me-time when you can and don't feel guilty about taking a breather - you'll ultimately be more patient if you give yourself time to decompress. You don’t need to enjoy every moment of Christmas – it’s OK to step away from the merriment when needed.

Tis the season for sharing

To avoid any assumptions or arguments over who does what, it can be helpful to share the seasonal load. Together, decide on the must-have traditions in your household and which events to attend. Divide tasks and create a communal to-do list with clarity on responsibilities. Relinquish control where necessary; you don’t need to carry it all! Outsource what you can by asking relatives to host or contribute food for gatherings. Use online delivery services for shopping and gifts, and do not feel you need to make or bake everything from scratch!

Remember: there’s a ‘No’ in Noel

It's easy to say yes to many festive invitations, Santa grotto visits and school events, only to find yourself over-scheduled and thinly stretched. Try not to over-commit yourself this Christmas. Be choosy and set limits so you don't take on more than your bandwidth can handle. It's perfectly fine to say no sometimes – including to the ‘Elf on the Shelf’. Taking care of your mental health, energy levels, and inner reserves will ensure you have fuel in the tank to power through coming busy weeks.

Jayne Ruff – Chartered Occupational Psychologist & Founder of Parenting Point.

Parenting Point exists to give everyone the self-belief that they can flourish as a parent and a professional by positively aligning both worlds. We help parents find their meaningful and fulfilling work-life balance through practical, psychology-based workshops and coaching. We work with organisations to create positive and inclusive performance cultures that support and encourage the growth of working parents.