Parenthood: It’s a Marathon not a Sprint

With the Tokyo Olympics in full swing, it felt like a good time to share a favourite sporting analogy:

“It’s a marathon, not a sprint”.

Here’s why I think this summarises working parenthood:

You need to set the right pace.

Sprint at the start of a marathon & you’re on the road to burnout. If you try to live life at a sprinting speed – from your return to work after parental leave & beyond – you may end up chasing unrealistic goals. It’s perhaps more helpful to think about finding a pace that gives you some balance & opportunity to recharge tired muscles (& eyes), which might mean accepting that giving 80% of yourself (or less) is 100% good enough!

Running a marathon & raising kids can be hard.

I’ll admit, I’ve only ever reached the half marathon landmark (which I’m very proud of!). These days I’d celebrate reaching 2km, never mind 21km. The point being, running any long-distance race is often a mental rollercoaster of highs (I am on fire…) & lows (my muscles might actually be on fire). You might have a race plan, but the race reality doesn’t always listen to your plan (you can’t choose the weather conditions or plan for cramping muscles at mile 5). Parenthood is also an exhausting mix of ups & downs. But you are making progress, even if some days feel a lot tougher than others. Being open to the unexpected & re-calibrating what success looks like are two important ways of building your psychological muscles.

Looking after yourself is so important.

After long training runs, I often struggled to find the time & motivation to cool down. Several physio appointments later, I now realise the necessity of recovery, including proper nutrition & stretching. As parents, we often put ourselves to the bottom of the priority list. I am as guilty as the next mother of doing this! But I have also come to recognise the incredible value that can come from just micro-moments of recovery time – whether that’s an uninterrupted hot coffee, a 10-minute walk with a podcast or a 2-minute mindful meditation. All that goodness helps keep the energy tank topped up in the long run.

Jayne Ruff – Chartered Occupational Psychologist & Founder of Parenting Point.

Parenting Point exists to give everyone the self-belief that they can flourish as a parent and a professional by positively aligning both worlds. We help parents find their meaningful and fulfilling work-life balance through practical, psychology-based workshops and coaching. We work with organisations to create positive and inclusive performance cultures that support and encourage the growth of working parents.