3 Tips On Balancing A Career & Young Kids

There's no sugar-coating it – juggling work and home life with a young family is often one of the most testing times in our careers. Here are three tips designed to help you think about what work-life balance really means to you:

Aim for alignment over balance

The concept of "work life balance" sets an unrealistic expectation that we should divide our energy and time equally between work and home. Striving for a 50/50 ideal often leads to frustration and upset. Instead, I encourage clients to strive for "work life alignment" - finding complementary integration across different life domains even when the allocation isn't equal.

For example, if it’s possible to flex your hours to be more present during key family times, modify your working patterns to give you this time at home. Give yourself permission to protect time for family and remember ‘quality over quantity’ (a heartfelt hug will benefit everyone). Equally, don’t feel guilty about protecting time for work when this needs your full attention. You may even find that changing up your ways of working helps you prioritise your time better, as it encourages you to focus on the genuinely high-value work. Remember to share your working pattern updates and preferences with your team so they know when you’ll be most responsive.

You may decide to log on again in the evening to catch up on e-mails or close off a few daily tasks. Consider what must be completed today, and what may benefit more from fresh eyes in the morning. Where else could you use your time if not for work, and what would the value be? Who else could you turn to for support? Alignment is often about making conscious choices about which life domain to give your energy and time to in any given moment.

Embrace micro re-balancing

From a psychological perspective, compartmentalising tends to be an ineffective coping technique. Segments of life inevitably spill into one another. Allow yourself to be emotionally available to your kids, even when technically ‘on the clock’. And don't insist everything at home runs smoothly when you’re back in ‘parent mode’. Finding small ways to help you transition as smoothly as possible across roles will serve you best. 

I often talk about this as embracing micro re-balancing. This is about recognising and acknowledging that our days rarely play out in a linear, predictable fashion. Think about the last time your best-laid plans for balancing work and home life were disrupted by an unexpected curveball. I recently mapped out my workweek pre family vacation to allow just the right amount of time to complete client projects and pack the suitcases, only to have my youngest injure himself and require time out of childcare (he is now fully recovered and enjoyed his holiday!). Then there are last-minute work projects, client requests, pitches, presentations… all requiring energy and attention we may not have anticipated.

Micro re-balancing lets you adapt to the unexpected. It’s about taking a pause to consider what is it most important to prioritise in this moment? Think of it a bit like shuffling a pack of cards. On each of the cards are all the things that matter to you from a work and home life perspective. Sometimes, the card at the top of the deck may need to temporarily change. You can re-shuffle the cards again once you’ve managed the situation at hand.

Speak to yourself as you would a friend

What would you say to a friend navigating working parenthood? What words of comfort would you share? What successes would you celebrate? Where would you encourage them to cut themselves some slack? Or push back on unrealistic demands placed by others? It can be hard to follow our own advice. Our in-built negativity bias keeps us alert to what we could be doing more of, and better. Take a moment to think about the advice you would most want someone close to you to hear about balancing a career with young kids.

I often reminder myself to heed the advice that not everything I want to achieve in life needs to be tackled today, this week or even this year. And some days will feel a lot more chaotic than others. I’m growing much more comfortable with seeing myself as a long-term project and, as the years progress, the time and energy that I can give to different life domains will shift.

Managing a big career with small kids is hard work, and finding the right balance is tough. It can be reassuring to remember that there is no perfect solution. Find a work-life rhythm that’s workable and meaningful to you today and be open to the changing beat as you continue your working parenthood journey.

Jayne Ruff – Chartered Occupational Psychologist & Founder of Parenting Point.

Parenting Point exists to give everyone the self-belief that they can flourish as a parent and a professional by positively aligning both worlds. We help parents find their meaningful and fulfilling work-life balance through practical, psychology-based workshops and coaching. We work with organisations to create positive and inclusive performance cultures that support and encourage the growth of working parents.