How to Balance Work when the Kids are Home Sick

Getting the call from nursery to come and collect a sick child is one of the most common worries my coaching clients share ahead of their return from parental leave. And as it’s normal for a child to have eight or more colds a year as their immune system develops, the challenge of caring for our children when they’re ill whilst managing our workload continues for some time.

Balancing work while the kids are unwell is an example of everyday change we face as working parents. These psychological insights can help you to navigate sickness situations when they arise:

Take care of yourself too.

As parents, we’re often guilty of putting ourselves to the bottom of the pile. Which is why taking care of yourself too while your child is poorly is point one!

Looking after a little one who is unwell is both physically and emotionally draining. The sudden change in routine mixed with worry about your child and your work is exhausting! When you’re running on empty, you’re also more susceptible to illness.

We are only effective - at work and at home - when we look after our well-being. While the temptation may be to frantically fit work catch-ups into your evenings, be careful not to over-commit. Take time to rest and recuperate.

Set some boundaries and seek support - whether that’s handing over a project to a colleague or accepting a food delivery from a friend. You’ll be able to return the favour when they need your help one day (that’s the psychology of reciprocity at play!).

Remember, it makes business sense to take care of your well-being in the short term so that you can stay healthy and productive in the long run.

Re-focus your (mental) load.

An important point to remember when juggling work while caring for a sick child is that it’s not your ‘normal’ work life balance.

In psychology we talk about the challenge of overgeneralisation, where we make a broad assumption based on a limited or specific experience. This way of thinking can cause unnecessary emotional pain and negatively impact our confidence and self-belief. Recognising unhelpful beliefs about how you’re balancing work and home life when your child’s home sick is the first step to re-focusing your mental load. This is a time for self-compassion, not criticism.

Viewing your current situation as specific and time-bound promotes a better mindset for identifying the most important tasks at work and home to focus on while your energy and attention are limited. Consider what the true deadlines are across the week, then prioritise based on what’s most critical. Ask yourself: what small ways can I make life that little bit easier just now?

While you might not feel as productive as you would ordinarily, this is not a reflection of your overall capability as either a parent or professional. Accept that you are doing enough under difficult circumstances by focusing on the real value-add activities. This will help you to feel more in control and less overwhelmed by your to-do list.

Keep your relationships healthy.

A key ingredient to any healthy relationship - personal or professional - is open and honest communication. This is because it helps to develop shared understanding, which in turn builds trust.

Don’t suffer in silence. Rather than hide the fact you’re operating in survival mode from your colleagues, help them to understand your current situation and why you might need a little more flexibility in the short term.

Use these conversations to share how you plan to work during this period, identify where your workload pressure points will be, and together explore whether work can be redistributed and expectations adjusted to ensure client needs are still met (which is a shared goal, after all).

It’s important to stay connected at home too. Concern for a sick child mixed with the stress of a growing workload may result in some tension as you try to quickly adapt schedules. To help relieve some of the pressure, have frequent open and honest conversations with your partner or other caregivers about what’s coming up in your work diary, where there is and is not flexibility, and how you’ll divide and conquer responsibilities until your little one has recovered. If your child is older, talk them through your plans and ask if there’s anything else they need (reinforcing that they’re your number one priority). You might also want to plan something to look forward to once the sick days are behind you!

Jayne Ruff – Chartered Occupational Psychologist & Founder of Parenting Point.

Parenting Point exists to give everyone the self-belief that they can flourish as a parent and a professional by positively aligning both worlds. We help parents find their meaningful and fulfilling work-life balance through practical, psychology-based workshops and coaching. We work with organisations to create positive and inclusive performance cultures that support and encourage the growth of working parents.